Here’s the thing: “Playing it cool” and holding back from saying what we want can leave us falling harder and harder for someone who has no intention of investing in a committed relationship.
While there’s nothing wrong with initially seeing how things go, by continuing to play it cool, we may inadvertently trap ourselves in a state of limbo. By failing to ask questions (which can help us take stock of where things are headed), our avoidance can actually attract and enable avoiders.
I know this stuff can be really hard to get right, because there’s a delicate push and pull in every dynamic. You don’t want to always be the one putting a foot forward, because the right relationship will be an equal exchange of energy.
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Matthew Hussey